Ayah, do you know how mad I am today?
Do you know every time Mak and Adik gets mad at you I was the only one who’s defending?
Do you know every time I told my friend about you-- they're all gets mad too?
Do you know how mad I was for you not to put any effort to defend yourself?
Ayah, even the whole world are against you-
I’ll be the one who will stand for you
I’ll be the one who will defend you- even if people are repelled by my action to do so.
I realize that I can’t get mad at you.
Ayah, do you know sometimes I feel like I don’t belong anywhere in this world.
Every where I go, I feel like I’m forcing myself fitting in with people.
Sometimes, I just wanna gave up and be alone.
Ayah, I was sad and miserable these few years.
Just now you called--
I told Amar and Ezuan to shut the hell up-- because I really wanna hear your voice.
I missed you, not even to the distance of moon and back. It’s more than that.
Ayah,
Just now you called-
You sounded so happy.
I realized how much I wanted all these years was a bad dream-
That God will wake me up from these long sleep--
I’ll wake up as a 10 years old-
So we’ll have plenty of time together.
And I don’t have to regret how much time I’ve wasted
--to realized that I loved you more than my own life.
Ayah.
I know that you know-
that I miss you.
We both can feel it.